I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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