i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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