are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Randomize
