Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think people are normalizing furries
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
