Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
