Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
