GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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