Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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