im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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