the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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