is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
