I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i barfeds in our rink
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
