I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
