He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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