I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
