I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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