MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
