yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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