i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
