whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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