I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize