Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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