You just made me feel so damn special
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
