He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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