I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
