I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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