I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
