Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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