Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
