Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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