Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
