The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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