I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize