she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
