i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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