i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
