Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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