i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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