God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
