how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
