You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Did I show you my penis last night?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
