I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
