I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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