Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
