You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
