for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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