I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
