32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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