hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
