Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
