I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The Olympian is in my bed
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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