I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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