I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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