I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
