if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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