I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's shark week go big or go home
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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