first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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