I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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