yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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