Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
